Website: http://blahmamus.com

Makes/Teaches: Yes, I make monsters…well polymer clay monster themed art crap with a gratuitous use of booze references, silly little hateful hearts, pointless mustaches and clouds that puke fucking rainbows. Oh, and curse words, lots and lots of happy little curse words.I also paint, draw, and work in ceramics. Well rounded art awesomeness here ladies.

Skills: I’m a smartass and a damn good one if I say so myself. On top of that fine and wonderful talent, I’m well versed in the art of pointing out the obvious and shirtless karaoke when I’m really trashed. I’m also pretty damn handy when it comes to manly things like handling tools, painting things, drinking beer, picking up chicks (sorry, I’m a sucker for cute little baby birds) and baking cupcakes.

1st Choice Chow:  I like to eat pie…wink wink…nudge nudge…hehe. Oh uhm, I mean local restaurants(24 diner) and food trailers (Love Balls!). I also love Indian food. I Eat Meat! Sorry veg/vegans. Oh, and hands down there needs to be a good beer selection.

Bad-ass Self Rating: FUCKING EPIC!!!

Qualifications: I feel like she needs a man that’s a true gentleman with a good sense of humor. Well dammit, I can give her at least one of those.  Granted I might not be the best looking choice but I am one crafty son of a bitch. I’ll also make her cookies with monsters and love poems painted on them…as long as she always has some beer in the fridge.

T-Shirt Size: Why the hell would you need to have an other category on this? Does Stella like the fat guys or something? She won’t like my scrawny ass at all.